We all need a break and that's nothing to feel guilty about. Sometimes you give so much to the one child, that you need renewed energy for the rest of the family, as well as time for yourself. Short breaks or respite are all about giving you and the rest of the household that break - allowing someone you trust to look after your child while you go out or spend time with other family members. It can include care in the home, day care away from the home, residential breaks, family link schemes, holidays, after school clubs and holiday play schemes.

The other benefit of a short break is that it can be a great confidence booster, for you as the carer and for your child. You find out that it is possible to let your child go, and your child finds out that he or she can enjoy life away from the family. Some of us have found that this really pays dividends in the long term, because our children have learned to adapt to new situations and experiences much better than they might have done otherwise.

• Tips for getting short breaks
• What kind of short breaks are available?
• Support for life-limited children
• Childcare
• Private and other kinds of short breaks

Tips for getting short breaks

Be warned - short breaks are hard to get! First you need to recognise you need it and deal with all the difficult emotions that may bring up; then you need to start asking for it. It may begin with just a few hours, but can then lead to longer periods that will give you a wonderful break. Here are a few tips:

• Getting a short break usually means asking a social worker for an assessment. Put it in writing and keep a copy.
• Explain how the demands of caring for your child are taking their toll and make it clear that things are difficult.
• Ask other professionals to support your request by writing to your social worker as well.
• What's right for one family may not be right for yours so think about what would work.
• If you are offered a family-based short break, meet with the family first and spend time agreeing how best to trial things.
• If you are offered a residential short break, go and visit first when other children are there and ask questions. If you want to, feel free to ask your social worker if they can visit with you.
• Write down a list of questions beforehand and take this with you to visits or meetings about short break arrangements.
• Keep an open mind as sometimes first visits don't go well and often it takes time for children to settle in with new people.
• If you want something more flexible, think about asking for Direct Payments. We explain about Direct Payments in the 'Money matters' section.

Amaze also produces a factsheet about 'Short breaks' and one about 'Childcare questions', so download your copies here.

“With our respite care, the first person who was recommended to us, we actually turned down. I gave it three mornings' trial with this person and she was a brilliant carer, but she didn't have enough oomph for Jane, and I could see it wasn't going to work. So I explained, and we were given another one and she's been with us two years, and is absolutely brilliant.”

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What kind of short breaks are available?

Realistically, short breaks will only be provided for more severely disabled children. So unless your child has severe learning or behavioural difficulties or physical disabilities, you are unlikely to get any respite care from the council. If your child is more able, you could think about short breaks in terms of childcare, after school clubs, or leisure activities where you can leave your children for a while. See the sections on ‘Childcare’ and ‘After school clubs below for more detailed information.

Parents who do get more traditional types of respite will find that they are usually given a pick and mix of different types of short break, such as one night’s respite, one day a week at an inclusive play scheme in the holidays, and a befriender for instance. Let’s take a closer look at the various types of short break available

Local authority funded short breaks services

Outreach service

The outreach service is for children and youg people aged 2-18 with moderate to severe disabilities. It supports them to access activities and events in their local community, on an individual or group basis after school, at weekends and also during school holidays. Outreach also provides essential crisis intervention support to families who may be close to breakdown, or where there may be child protection and safeguarding issues. The service is accessed via a social work assessment.

“I get two nights a week 5.30 - 8pm. They take her out, give her tea and get her ready for bed. They take her swimming and it's just lovely, she's doing normal things after school. I can't take her otherwise, because of the other children.”

Residential services

Drove Road provides short breaks and residential care to young people aged 10 to 18 who have a learning disability and may also have challenging behaviour. Young people have an allocated number of nights that are planned ahead and this can take place during term time, holidays and weekends.

Tudor House also provides short breaks and residential care. It's open to young people aged 10 to 19 with a learning disability who may also have a physical disability or more complex needs.

The homes provide a range of opportunities and experiences within the local community so young people can enjoy their breaks as much as possible. These units are both run by the Child Development and Disability Service, part of Brighton & Hove Children's Services.

Link Plus

Brighton & Hove Link Plus is a service for disabled children which provides family based care ranging from a few hours or an occasional overnight stay to full-time foster care. The aim of this service is to 'link' families who require care with other local families who will share the care of the child. Care usually takes place in the carer's home. Some children have regular overnight stays throughout the year others have occasional weekends away from home plus extra care during the school holidays. Some children and families prefer to have day care sessions only.

The Home Support Service provides support to a parent of a disabled child, either within in their own home or out in the community, this includes siblings. The home support workers are carefully matched to each family. Link Plus also operates a Contract Carer's scheme. A Contract Carer is a self-employed carer offering regular 'short breaks' for disabled children/young people in the carer's home following assessment and approval.

The above services are open to disabled children up to the age of 18 (who live in Brighton & Hove). Their disabilities may include severe learning difficulties, epilepsy, physical or sensory disabilities and specific medical conditions. The services try to be flexible and meet individual family needs.

For more details contact Link Plus on 01273 295179 or e-mail Brighton.link@barnados.org.uk.

Foster care

Brighton & Hove mainstream fostering service canprovide overnight or longer-term care for children and young people with special needs where the children and young people are cared for in the foster family's own home. All carers go through a rigorous fostering assessment and care is taken to match suitable families.

Crossroads

Crossroads is a charity that provides respite care in your own home, on a regular basis, to give you a break as a carer. Crossroads care workers can come and play with your child for a few hours a week or month, and can visit after school, at evenings or weekends. Contact them direct or get referred by a professional like your GP, health visitor or social worker.

“I did have two people from Crossroads who came and stayed in the house and played with her. These women who came in loved children, and they were brilliant. They were all mums and they brought an enjoyment to the house when I couldn't, when I was struggling.”

Chailey Heritage

Chailey Heritage runs a short break service for children who have complex physical disabilities and/or medical needs. Children are usually referred by social workers or health professionals. Chailey Heritage can provide residential short breaks where each child has a keyworker, a named nurse and a care plan to ensure that the break is enjoyable, useful and medical needs are met. They also have a service where nurses and carers provide short breaks at home.

Befriending schemes

The Children's Society Portage and Early Support Service have a befriending service for disabled young people, aged 12-18. The service recruits befrienders from across the city to spend time with disabled young people.

The service aims to help young people improve and extend their independent living skills and also offers opportunities to extend social skills and access to leisure activities. Referrals to the service are via your child's social worker.

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Support for life-limited children

There are local charities and hospices that can offer respite care for children and young people with life-limiting or life-threatening conditions.

Demelza House provide short breaks for children with life-limiting or life-threatening illnesses. This may involve caring for the child while the family stay at home or while they have a bit of time off to 'do their own thing'. Families can also stay with them, using their comfortable family rooms and open plan living areas. Demelza House also has a team of community nurses who provide a 'hospice at home' service for children in East Sussex.

Leo House is is a Brighton-based charity that offers support to the whole family, including looking after the sick child or young person so the family can spend time together. They work in partnership with Chestnut Tree House, a hospice and charity that provides overnight and day care for life-limited children and their families across Sussex.

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Childcare

For parents of more able children, paying for some childcare may be the best option for giving you a break. The Family Information Service (FIS) keeps up to date lists of childminders, nurseries, pre-schools, nannies, parent toddler groups, after-school and holiday clubs . They can also offer extra support to families of children with special needs, which might include making appointments for you or linking with professionals who can provide appropriate training to the childcare provider. Call FIS on 01273 293545 or visit the website at www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/fis

Amaze also produces two fact sheets, Childcare Questions and Choosing Childcare with lots more information about what’s out there. Call our helpline for copies of either.

If you prefer your child to be cared for in your own home, FIS also runs the At Home Childcare Service, which matches Ofsted registered childcarers with families who may find it difficult to use traditional childcare. The At Home Childcarers are self-employed so rates will vary but the FIS service is free. You should also talk to your health visitor as they can advise you on what should be in place for your child to attend a particular setting, particularly if they have medical or physical needs. To find out more call 01273 293628 or email sian.bruce@brighton-hove.gov.uk.

After school clubs and holiday play schemes

If your child is at school, you may need an after-school club or play scheme for the school holidays. Many schools have their own after-school clubs, while some are run by private companies or charities. Ask your child’s school or contact FIS for details of suitable schemes. The following play providers have extensive practical experience of including children with special needs and disabilities:

• Extratime run fully inclusive play and holiday schemes at Hillside, Woodingdean and St Lukes schools which offer one-to-one support if necessary.
• Brighton and Hove Inclusion Project (BHIP) run inclusive after-school and Saturday clubs for kids in Hangleton and Fiveways and also do outreach work to support the inclusion of disabled children at other play schemes in the city.
• Whoopsadaisy run holiday schemes for children up to 12 with cerebral palsy.
• Cherish holiday schemes are for young people with learning difficulties aged from 12-25.
• Extratime and Sussex Central YMCA run holiday play schemes for children with disabilities aged 11 to 19 in Hove and Whitehawk. They also support disabled children and young people to access mainstream out of school activities.

If you need help with finding the right out-of-school activity for your child you can ask for FIS’ Extra Support Service. You may also be able to apply for the Childcare Inclusion Grant if your child needs additional support to make their placement viable.

For summer schemes, FIS’ ‘Summer Fun’ booklet lists every holiday play scheme provider as well as other activities and events - look for it in local libraries or on the council’s website.

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Private and other kinds of short breaks

If you've exhausted offers of help from your family and the forms of short breaks we've described above, there are private short break agencies. Though they can be expensive you should be able to use Direct Payments to fund such respite care. For further information on Direct Payments, contact Seaside View or organisations like the Carers Centre and Brighton & Hove Disability Advice Centre for information.